Her family told her to stay

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Monica and Tony’s families went way back. Everyone was happy when the young couple got married and Monica became pregnant.

But Tony’s temper was explosive and he often got physically aggressive. When Monica confided to her parents and suggested leaving him, they scolded her.

“You took vows. A good wife would stand by her husband, no matter what,” they said.

Leaving Tony meant disappointing her whole family. So she stayed and Monica soon found herself pregnant with their second child.

One night, while their son slept, Tony got agitated and violent. He grabbed Monica, breaking her hand and pushed her against a wall. He strangled her to the point where she nearly lost consciousness. She was 6 months pregnant, but it didn’t matter. He was out of control.

After the incident, instead of offering to help Monica, her family took his side, asking what she’d done to make him so angry. Monica felt torn. Her whole family blamed her, but deep in her heart, she knew it wasn’t her fault.

Monica confided in a relative with experience in family counseling.

“Call Sojourner,” she said. “You don’t deserve to be treated this way.” Being heard and believed gave Monica the courage to take her kids and leave her husband.

At Sojourner, Monica learned she wasn’t alone. For the first time in her life, she was met with care and compassion and felt free from blame or judgement.

Monica was grateful to drop off her kids in Sojourner’s Children’s Program while she focused on healing with the help of on-site support and resources. She also received free clothing and diapers, which helped her make ends meet.

Monica found she especially enjoyed helping other survivors. She joined VOICES, a group of survivors who speak out to educate about domestic violence. Through VOICES, Monica turned her pain into purpose.

“When I came to Sojourner, I could feel myself breaking inside,” she says. “All of the expectations about what a wife and mother should be, all my frustration and anger – it just broke apart and I finally broke free.”

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• $100 to help a survivor file a restraining order
• $300 for 3 survivors to attend support groups so they can heal trauma and build hope
• $500 in housing support for a family fleeing violence
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Your generous gifts to Sojourner help thousands of survivors as they take their first steps toward a life free from abuse. THANK YOU!

As the most comprehensive nonprofit provider of domestic violence prevention and intervention services in Wisconsin, Sojourner has been helping survivors like Monica for nearly 50 years.

Our 53-bed shelter provides safe and stable crisis housing. On-site Advocates walk with survivors on their journey of healing and rebuilding.

We help survivors file police reports and restraining orders. We connect them with services and support, including legal, healthcare and social services provided by 14 community partners located under one roof at the Family Peace Center.

Sojourner is a place of refuge, respite, healing and hope.